Falling in Love with Bipolar – Intro/Chapter#1

Falling in Love with Bipolar by Lance Merrick

Introduction

Welcome.

This will be a journey through my hyper-sexual mind.

It is a major symptom of bipolar disorder. I also have psychosis with PTSD.

However, it is hyper-sexuality that has caused me the most problems in my life. It is an over fascination with sex. It is a maddening addiction that has cravings which cause one to seek relief in dangerous and risky ways.

Like watching porno at work and getting caught and fired.

Or going on the prowl for street hookers and homeless girls.

 Bipolar has many other symptoms which will be revealed in this memoir:

  • Mania
  • Depression
  • Over spending
  • Hyper-Sexuality
  • Drug use and addiction
  • Suicide
  • Self Harm

All this presented in the sweet story of two kids falling in love at college. Lance and Amy Jo are like corn on cob. A match made at a Willie Nelson concert. Then when Amy Jo goes off her meds all hell breaks loose.

Can love survive?

 

 

Table Of Contents

Chapter 1 – Meeting Amy Jo

 

Falling in Love with Bipolar

Chapter 1 – Meeting Amy Jo

It was 1978. I was a freshman at the University of Texas, sitting in my dorm room, waiting for my roommate to get back from his date. 

The door slams, and in walks Ed. 

“​Hey brother, what’s going on? I thought you had a hot date?” I asked.

E​d opened his backpack, pulled out a bottle of Jim Beam, and took a long swig.

“​Ah. I needed that. The damn girl wanted to go home and study for tomorrow’s German exam. I wanted to go to the Willie Nelson concert in the park and lay on a blanket and spoon.” He grumbled.

“​Too bad the concert is probably over by now. Wasn’t it supposed to start at nine?” 

“​I don’t care. I want to see Willie, so I’m going to the park! Youin?” Ed asked. 

“​Even if we only catch the last few songs, it would be worth it!Let’s go!” I exclaimed. 

We hopped in my old Ford 1966, step-side pickup, with my dirt-bike in the back. Driving to the park from the dorm was only about a ten-minute dash. We spent more time trying to find a parking place than it took to drive there, but we would not be deterred! We parked on the grass and got out. 

As we crossed the field, I could hear “Whiskey River take my mind…don’t let her memory torture me…”I was excited until I saw the area for the concert had been roped off and there was a guy at the gate taking money. We hadn’t thought about that. 

“Hey, how much to get in?” I asked. 

“It’s five dollars, man, but the concert is only going to until midnight, so I don’t know if it would be worth it for ya. Sorry.”He replied.

I looked at Ed. “​Well, should we go someplace else?”

“I came to see Willie. I’m going to see Willie.” Ed stated with determination.

“Will you take five dollars for the both of us? I mean, we came all the way down here, and my girl just dumped me for a German test. Come on, man, have a heart!” Ed begged.

It worked! He let us in! And immediately, my heart began to sink. Maybe our luck was beginning to change. There was trash all around, beer cans next to full trash bins, and it seemed like people were leaving… But just as I started to lose hope, Willie Nelson made his way back to the stage, followed by the rest of the band, and Whiskey River started up again with gusto. Perfection!

People were singing a long and lighting up joints. I approached a girl who was smoking and gave a shy, let-me-have-a-drag smile. She passed me the joint. After a few long drags, I passed it back-andx introduced myself.

“​My name is Lance. What’s yours?”

She held in the smoke for what seemed like minutes before coughing and tapping the ashes down to the ground. 

“​Amy. AmyJo is my name. Nice to meet you, Lance.” She said, then smiled.

E​d pulled out his bottle of Jim Beam and bartered with Amy Jo for another joint. She obliged. After two hours of good weed and good music, we were throwing caution to the wind and feeling no pain. 

I looked at Amy. “I think you need a hug,” I said. 

“I think I need more than a hug!” She replied as she wrapped her arms around me, put her hand on the back of my neck, and leaned in for a kiss. I smiled and kissed her back with hints of weed and Jim Beam on my tongue.

“I’m glad you guys came out tonight. You are like family to me. We want to leave you with this last song, Amazing Grace.”Willie Nelson said to the crowd. And amazing grace was just what I was going to need if there was any hope of making it to German class the next morning. 

* * *

When I finally came to the next day, I couldn’t remember much. But judging by the phone number Amy Jo left for me, I could tell I had great time. E​d wasn’t in the room, so he either he found a girl to go home with or he was taking his German exam. I missed the entire class, but I didn’t care. It was worth it. 

I looked out the window and discovered my truck was not in its normal parking spot or anywhere else on the street! While walking two miles in search of Smokey, my truck, I didn’t feel hungover. I was still reeling in the seduction of the night before. Nothing could bring me down. Not even the dirt bike some goons stole from the back of my truck while I was out enjoying the world. So, instead of going back home, I decided to go to theHippy Hollow nudists spot and read.

I could hear laughing and splashing as I arrived. People were hanging out, enjoying the sun, and I was certainly in the right place because everybody was nude! I found a spot close to the water, a grassy area with not too many rocks, put my backpack down, and took off my clothes, too. Soon, I caught the eyes of a girl wearing nothing but a pair of cowgirl boots and a hat, playing Willie Nelson. It was like a dream. But there she was, suntanned and gorgeous. 

Trying to stay focused, I sat down on the grass and pulled out my book. But regardless of the scenery and the reading material, all I could think about was Amy Jo. I felt energized, charged up. My mind was racing with fantasies about her and the music and so many other exciting things that could happen. I was so immersed with infatuation, time flew, and before I knew it, it was time to head back the college and find Ed.

I arrived at the Bible Studies Center just in time for class to start. Within twenty minutes, I had put half the class to sleep by reading aloud. Ed included. After class I asked him about the night we had and how his adventure faired. He told me the last thing he remembered was that Amy Jo and I were getting along well, so he left to dance with a girl he met at the concert, and the rest was drunken, weed-smothered blur.

O​ver the next few weeks, I didn’t sleep much. I was a regular chatter box with ideas and dreams I couldn’t stop talking about whenever anyone was around. I continued getting close to AmyJo. I could tell we were going to be good friends. She brought out a different side of me. When I wasn’t with her, I was an introvert, a nerd. But with her, I was king of the world. I was a star. I was happy, sexual, energetic, and free. Together, it felt like we could take on anything. I dreamed that we would get married someday, and that, maybe, I would maybe be an engineer. No, an astronaut or a pilot…. or maybe, a senator! The options were endless! 

But was it real, or was it a delusion?
Falling in Love with Bipolar

One response to “Falling in Love with Bipolar – Intro/Chapter#1”

  1. This truly happened to me in Austin 1978 while in college when I met Amy Jo.

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